Divorce

Three Things to Consider When Serving Your Spouse with Divorce Documents

September 27, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

Many clients seeking a divorce (called dissolution in Washington) come into our office ready get things started. By the time they’ve come to us they’ve often already done the hard work of deciding that they are emotionally prepared to leave their spouse. They are anxious to get the legal process started, and want to know how they get their spouse served. Some are worried about how their spouse may react to service. Most think of movies they’ve seen where someone knocks on the (soon-to-be-former) spouse’s door and tells them: “You’ve been served.” The served spouse usually looks shocked, angry, sad, or a combination of all three. While for some family law clients these are the responses they desire, most want a more discreet approach. There are ways to initiate your dissolution process without undue embarrassment, surprise or anger:

Think about the kids. It is usually best to plan a time to serve your spouse when he or she will not have the children. (In fact, it is hard to imagine a time when it would be a good idea to serve your spouse in front of your children.) In addition to saving your spouse from the experience of being served in front of the children, you are also saving the children from the confusion and concern likely to occur as a result of seeing mom or dad served. Furthermore, it may please a decision-maker whom is made aware of extra steps being taken to protect the kids.
Consider who else might bear witness to service. Serving your spouse at work or in another public place is not likely to start things off in a friendly fashion. If you’re trying to preserve goodwill between spouses, consider having your spouse served at home at a time you know they will be alone. Also, serving your spouse at work may affect their employment. This is an important consideration as both parties’ ability to earn will be considered in your dissolution negotiations and/or litigation.
Consider asking the other party to join. If you and your spouse agree about what issues need to be resolved during the dissolution process, you might consider having him or her join in the petition. When the petitioner and respondent join in a petition it means that both parties are asking the court to resolve some issues (though you are free to negotiate and resolve things outside the courtroom). No one needs to be served because you both participate in filing the petition. In addition to saving your spouse from the emotional toll of being served, you can also save yourself money and time (You will not have to pay someone to serve your spouse, and the 90-day waiting period begins when the petition is filed.). There may be other ramifications to signing a joinder that should be discussed with your family law attorney.

We would be remiss not to point out that these modes of service only work in certain cases. Sometimes the element of surprise is part of a legal strategy that seeks to protect a party’s interests (safety, financial or otherwise). Sometimes, it is impossible to find a time for service that the spouse will not have an audience of either children or coworkers. As with all legal questions, this is one that should be discussed with a qualified family law attorney who understands your individual circumstances. Please contact us with your family law issues.

Why Results in Family Law Cases Can Differ So Much

September 20, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

A woman approached me at a social gathering recently to ask me to help her resolve her confusion regarding a family law issue. She said that she had two friends get divorced under similar circumstances, but obtain very different results. She wondered whether laws varied from county to county or courthouse to courthouse, and if that was the reason for the variation in results. Her confusion reminded me of the misperception I have heard from many family law clients who come in expecting that they can get the same result as a friend did because their “circumstances are so similar”, or that they can avoid the result a friend obtained because “their circumstances are totally different”. The reality is that no two families are similar enough to guarantee similar results.

Family law is mostly governed by state laws. There are some laws in family law that come from the federal level (ex. DOMA, IRS Code, PKPA), but for most of the laws that impact most families we look to the Revised Code of Washington, the Washington Administrative Code, and the case law from Washington’s appellate courts. There are court rules that vary from county to county, but these are mostly (if not entirely) procedural and should not (but may) affect the outcome of a case. In other words, whether your family law proceedings are handled in Spokane County, King County, Kitsap County or any other county in Washington shouldn’t make much of a difference. In reality, things do vary from county to county, courthouse to courthouse and decision-maker to decision-maker (commissioner or judge). Part of being a family law attorney (or rather any attorney that appears before a decision-maker on a regular basis) is knowing how the decision-maker(s) in your county is likely to rule on a particular issue. That way you are best able to advise your clients whether settlement or continued litigation is in their best interest.

But variations based on the decision-maker is not a complete answer to why there is so much variation in family law court decisions. It is more likely that the differences arise from one of two things. First, what may appear to be similar circumstances to someone looking at two families from the outside, may not be so similar when you take a closer look at the families’ finances, structure, and parenting histories. For example while two divorcing families’ may live in the same neighborhood and drive similar vehicles, their debt to income ratios and retirement savings may look entirely different. In other words, the similar families you see, may not be so similar upon further investigation.

How to Help Your Kids Deal With School and Family Transitions

September 15, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

It’s hard to believe that September is more than half over. School supplies have been opened and used, new clothes worn and homework assigned. Families with school-age children are getting back into the routine of school five days a week. As has been previously discussed on this blog, children of divorced parents are often also adjusting to a different (school schedule) residential schedule. Some kids have been through this transition before. For some kids, this is the first time they are dealing with a new school year as part of a two-home family. The Huffington Post recently published an article entitled “How Our Schools Can Better Serve Children of Divorce.”

As previously suggested on this blog, and as suggested in the article, parents can do many things to make the transition back to school easier on children of divorce. The article suggests (and we agree) that parents should let the school know that the children are going through (or have recently been through) a divorce. Parents can ask teachers of elementary age children and (perhaps more appropriately) guidance counselors of middle school or high school students whether they are seeing any issues with the child that may be attributed to stress at home. If the adults at school are seeing issues, it may be time to consult with a counselor trained in dealing with children of divorce. Kids are at school for many hours each day. Teachers and other school staff can be a divorcing (or divorced) parent’s ally in helping kids adjust.

Transitioning from summer to school schedules, sun to rain, and free play to structure can be enough to deal with. If your child is also dealing with a new family structure, it might be good to give their well-being some extra thought and attention.

Four Things That Can Help Hasten Your Divorce Proceedings

September 9, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

Many divorcing people wonder how long their divorce will take, and whether there is anything they can do to speed up the process. RCW 26.09.030 requires that ninety days elapse after the filing of a petition for dissolution of marriage before a divorce decree cam be entered. This means that the minimum length of divorce proceedings is ninety days. The maximum length of time the dissolution of marriage process can take is more difficult to determine. In a highly contentious divorce, including continuances and other delays, the process can take well over a year.

Once the decision to dissolve a marriage has been made, most people want to get out of the marriage as quickly as possible. If your goal is to get your divorce finalized as quickly as possible there are things you can do to speed things up:

Compromise on the Little Things: This doesn’t mean to agree to any terms or conditions that will make a significant difference in your life, but you should be willing to compromise on issues that won’t. Compromising on issues that aren’t imperatives for you will help you isolate issues that are, and focus your resources on having them resolved.
Tell Your Attorney: Tell your attorney that one of your main priorities is for the process to move as quickly as possible. Be prepared for them to tell you that it might not always be in your best interest to rush things. That said, even if your attorney does respond in that fashion, at least she will know that one of your goals is to be divorced soon.
File Early: Ask your attorney to file the petition as soon as possible. As stated above, the petition has to be filed to get the ninety-day-clock to start ticking. Often settlement negotiations start before a petition is filed. Sometimes negotiations are completed quickly and the parties are still forced to wait the ninety days. The sooner the petition is filed, the sooner the courtroom doors are open to enter the decree.
Be Prepared: Be ready to provide your family law attorney with information and documentation to help them do their job as quickly as possible. Ask them what they want you to provide, and then provide it. They will often need certain information prior to advising you on the best next step. The sooner they see the complete picture, the sooner they can advise you what to do next.

With these tips comes one additional thought – it is not always in your best interest to get a divorce finalized as quickly as possible. A family law attorney will be able to give you advice regarding the appropriateness of quick settlement and finalization of your divorce in your specific circumstances.

Who Gets the Furniture?

August 28, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

After separation, many people want to discuss with their lawyers some of the immediate issues that need resolution: temporary child support, temporary parenting schedules, and who gets to live in the house. As part of these discussions (especially the one regarding which spouse gets to live in the home), they also want to talk about how to divide the household furniture (both during the temporary phase, and the final division). They want to know whether they can take the bedroom set to furnish their bedroom at their new apartment, or whether they can keep the kids’ beds.

In many cases, we encourage our clients to sort these issues out with the other party directly. (We would never encourage this in cases where allegations of domestic violence are at issue whether our client is the accused or the victim/accuser.) The reality is, we know that in many cases the furniture being argued over is not worth spending your legal fees on. The court will often attribute a value to the furniture based on what the furniture could be sold for at a garage sale. This means that many of the things you want to fight over will be worth just pennies on the dollar. Furthermore, the court will often look favorably on the party that is willing to negotiate regarding the small assets and not waste the parties’ resources (and the court’s time) on low-value items.

As such, we often encourage separated spouses to figure these things out based on necessity. For example, the spouse moving out of the family home will often take a guest room bedroom set for their new master bedroom. The party who has the kids the majority of the time often takes the kids furniture. Also, in many cases the parties both have items that were purchased to meet their specific needs and it often makes the most sense for that party to take these items with them (or keep them at the house as the case may be).

(Back to) School Parenting Plan Schedules

August 5, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

The beginning of the school year means new teacher(s), new classmates, waking up earlier and more changes for most kids. Many kids in two-home families have an added adjustment to make. They have to adjust to their parenting plans changing back to the school year schedule. As we discussed previously on this blog, many families choose to have distinct residential schedules for the months that the kids are in school and the months that they are on summer vacation.

In our years working in family law, we have come across some valuable tips for parents helping their kids adjust to their new schedules. It might be helpful to create a visual calendar that your kids can look at to determine where they will be on any given day. This is especially helpful if the children are making frequent transfers throughout the week. Some kids (especially younger ones) might benefit from a note being pinned to their backpack reminding them where to go after school. Other families (and teachers) have told us it is helpful for unmarried parents to both come (assuming this doesn’t conflict with any court orders) to open houses and/or meet-and-greets. Use these visits as a chance to make the teacher aware of your child’s living situation. The teacher may be willing to send home two sets of class notes, and add both parents to his/her email list. This helps your child because both parents being aware of what’s going on at school allows both parents to be actively involved in their child’s education.

Please let us know if you would like to discuss your parenting plan with a family law attorney.

Child Support When Kids Live Equal Time With Both Parents

August 1, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

A discussion recently transpired among family law practitioners regarding child support payments in circumstances where parenting plans provide for equal (50/50) residential time with each parent. A novice family law attorney was coming to the (more experienced) field of family law lawyers looking for an answer to her client’s question regarding child support. Unfortunately, even the most veteran among us was unable to give a clear answer because the law does not provide a clear answer. Instead, it appears, based on many practitioners experience, that it depends on the specific circumstances of the case, or even the specific decision maker’s opinion on how this issue should be handled. In a case where one parent has the child(ren) 90% of the time, it can be fairly simple to determine how much child support the parent with 10% of the residential time will pay (assuming no extenuating circumstances). In those cases, the law does provide a fairly straightforward process for determining child support based on the parties income. But, when there is a 50/50 parenting plan in place, it is less clear if the same process applies, or if another formula should apply.

What is clear is that one thing is always considered by the court when making decisions regarding this issue. The court is going to want to know about the income disparity (if there is one) between the parties. If both parties make roughly the same amount, it is more likely the court will order that there be no transfer payment (i.e. one parent paying the other). With a large disparity in income, it becomes more likely that there will be a transfer payment. This makes sense given that the total child support amount (the amount that the legislature has deemed should be spent on a child with parents of that combined income level) is to be shared between the parties, and the lower-earning parent will be unable to provide for the child at the level the parties could if they were both contributing their proportional (tbased on income) share to the support of the child.

There is a separate formula for when the parties with more than one child split the children up, with one child residing at one parent’s home, and the other residing at the other parent’s home.

Determination of Income for Purposes of Setting Child Support and Spousal Maintenance

July 30, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

The most important decision in most child support and spousal maintenance (commonly referred to as alimony) conflicts is the determination of how much income each spouse is earning. In some cases, this is not a difficult or elongated task. If the earning party (or parties) receive a paycheck from an employer on a regular basis and for the same amount, and if there are no extenuating circumstances, income can be determined and child support and spousal maintenance issues can be made easier.

However, in many cases, income determination is not that easy, and is one of the most hard-fought and important issues in a family law case. Many people are paid on commission or commission/base structures. Some people are paid varying amounts throughout the year. In some cases, a party has obtained a new job or lost an old one and his or her income is going to change dramatically as a result.

All of the foregoing circumstances can make income determination more complicated, but perhaps the most challenging cases regarding determination of income are when one (or both) party owns a business. In these cases, income is often not as simple as looking at the business owner’s salary. The discovery process (the process by which bank account, investment account, and business liability information can be obtained) is of special importance. Depending on the business, it can also be necessary and worthwhile to bring in financial experts including business valuation experts and appraisers to determine how much income the business-owning-spouse is (or is not) making.

Litigation Fatigue – Three Things to Consider Before You Settle

July 24, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

When clients come into our office seeking to initiate or respond to a family law action, they are often full of energy (and sometimes anger) and want to get moving on their case. This energy and enthusiasm usually continues for the first few weeks, but often decreases after that. Most family law court processes take time, and many clients feel the growing desire to get things over with.

While we understand (and often share) the feeling of wanting to be done with a legal battle, we encourage clients to stay the course if settlement is not in their best interest. On the other hand, there are cases that we encourage our clients to settle (for example, when more money can be saved by reduced legal fees than could be gained by continuing litigation). When we do believe that staying the course is the right action we encourage our clients to do the following:

Keep Your Eyes on the Prize: if you initiated an action to get something, and you don’t have it yet, don’t give up just because you are tired.
Think About How Long You’ll Have to Live With the Results: In many cases, our clients will have to live with the results of a family law action for the rest of their lives. Don’t settle for something that you will regret a year from now so that you don’t have to have a stressful couple weeks (or months). (An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure is also an appropriate expression here.)
Do it For the Kids: In some cases our client doesn’t come into our office asking for us to advocate for him or her; instead, some clients are seeking someone that will advocate for what they believe is in the best interest of their children or step-children. If you start a family law action for the sake of someone else, think of them when your resolve wanes. Think if you want them to live with whatever you are considering settling for.

Postnuptial Agreements

July 19, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

Many people have heard of a prenuptial agreement. A prenuptial agreement is an agreement that is entered into prior to marriage that determines how assets and liabilities will be handled during and after the marriage (among other things). Less people have heard of a postnuptial agreement. Postnuptial agreements are similar to prenuptial agreements, except that they are made after the marriage has been entered.

Recently the USA Today had an article regarding a rise in postnuptial agreements (see the article here). The article posits that the reason for a recent increase in postnuptial agreements is related to the Supreme Court’s decision regarding the Defense Of Marriage Act (DOMA). The article also provides that, for many, a postnuptial agreement is not entered into to end a marriage, but actually to give it a last, best chance. For many couples, postnuptial agreements can end arguments about money and relieve a cause of marital discord.

If you and your spouse are considering a postnuptial agreement please contact us to discuss your options.