Divorce

Living Together Before Marriage

November 30, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

A recent article published on Huffington Post’s Divorce section describes a study published in 2012. The study found that living together prior to marriage is no longer a strong indicator of whether a couple will stay married or not. This is welcome news for many couples worried about their marital futures. However, there are other potential ramifications for parties living together prior to marriage that one might want to be aware of. As we’ve discussed previously on this blog, in Washington State, under certain circumstances, people who live together may be deemed partners in a committed intimate relationship, and thus may have access to the courts to divide debts and assets should their relationship end.

This issue can come up in a committed relationship that does not end in marriage, but instead ends with a break-up or death of one partner. It can come up in same-sex and different-sex relationships. After a long relationship many assets and debts have often been acquired. If a partner can prove that a committed intimate relationship existed, they can ask the courts help to equitably divide the property and debts acquired during that relationship. Many parties are surprised that they can end up in what feels like divorce court without ever getting married!

More relevant to the subject at hand, this issue comes up frequently at the time of divorce. Many divorcing spouses think that they will only have to divide assets and debts dating back to the inception of the marriage, but come to find out that they may have to divide assets and debts that were incurred years prior to their walk down the aisle. What assets become community-like depends on whether the couple lived in a relationship that qualifies as a committed intimate relationship prior to marriage. If they did not, the court will only characterize debts and assets acquired during marriage as community (or community-like).

More on Parenting Plans – Veterans Day, MLK Day, Sick Days and More

November 12, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

Unmarried parents creating parenting plans often expect to have to share their children for Christmases, birthdays and Thanksgivings. What they usually haven’t contemplated is sharing sick days, Veterans Days, MLK Days and Presidents Days. These are all days that often result in kids being out of school while parents still have to work. As most parents agree, these days are often disruptive to their work schedules, especially if the kids do not attend a daycare that allows them to attend on those days.

To avoid confusion, parenting plans are expected to schedule where children will be each day (even each hour) of their lives. This doesn’t mean that they can’t do a weekend at their grandparent’s or an overnight at their friend’s home, but it does mean if those plans fall through, the parent scheduled to have residential time with the child will be responsible to provide care (or find a suitable alternative).

Parenting plans often (and almost always should) provide a time that the transfer from one parent to another happens. Prior to that time, unless otherwise stated, the children should go to the parent with whom they are scheduled to reside. That means that if you are to have the children from 9:00 a.m. on Monday until 9:00 p.m. on Tuesday, and they get sick at 9:45 a.m. on Monday morning, it is likely you that will have to take the day off work (or figure out a suitable alternative). If one of the unmarried parents is a stay-at-home parent to other children, it might make sense to have that parent scheduled to have the children during most school hours. That way, if the kids do get sick, that parent is available to care for them until the other parent is available to take over. Specific circumstances should be discussed with a well-qualified family law attorney.

Kids’ Sporting Events After Divorce

November 1, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

While divorces don’t have to be acrimonious, they do usually complicate things. Things that were once simple and straightforward become more difficult. Kids sporting events are a common example of something that becomes more difficult after divorce. Often, during marriage parents both attend sporting events. They cheer for their kids, get to know other parents, and watch their kids develop as athletes. After divorce, many parents wonder whether they can still enjoy the weekly game. The answer often depends on the parents post-divorce relationship.

In divorced families where the parents have a positive and friendly co-parenting relationship, there is usually no problem with both parents attending the same sporting events. At our firm we’ve even seen families where one former-spouse invites the other out for ice cream to celebrate a win (or recover from a loss).

However, in cases where the parents have not exhibited the ability to maintain their composure when in the same location, it is often best to avoid joint participation in sporting events. While many parents are sad to miss their kids’ game, most agree it is better to have your kids miss you at the game than be witness to you and your former-spouse arguing on the sidelines. It is also possible to write into a parenting plan that parents alternate involvement in sporting events so that both parents can remain involved in sports without the risk of exposing the kids to hostility.

Dividing Property When You Can’t Get Divorced

October 30, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

For a variety of reasons, some people choose to be in a long-term committed relationship instead of getting married. When these relationships end, many people feel like they are going through a divorce. As you can imagine, after years in a committed relationship there is often co-ownership of real and personal property, and debt associated with the property. Although in many ways these long-term relationships can be like a marriage, the dissolution process is not available to the couple. This can leave many people feeling without resources to resolve the property issues associated with the end of their relationship.

Fortunately for some, while common-law marriages may not be formed under Washington law, in some circumstances unmarried couples that are able to show that they are in a committed intimate relationship may ask the courts to help them divide property and debt. To qualify as a committed intimate relationship the parties must show that they were in a marital-like relationship. To determine whether the relationship was marital-like the courts will review several factors (ex. pooling of resources, continuous cohabitation, and duration of relationship). Property acquired during a committed intimate relationship is subject to equitable division by the court.

These cases are not without their challenges, and should only be brought when the relationship is likely to qualify as a committed intimate relationship. Also, it is important to note that not all the remedies available to divorcing parties are available to parties to a committed intimate relationship. For example, parties ending a committed intimate relationship will not be awarded spousal maintenance (often called alimony).

Divorce Statistics: How does Washington Compare?

October 19, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

The Huffington Post recently published an article in their divorce section that discussed a compilation of data provided by FindTheData.org comparing divorce statistics among states. According to the compilation, Washington is right in the middle when it comes to our divorce rate. Washington is in the upper end of average when it comes to the cost of filing, but also in the upper end of average in our ease of filing. Washington is within the average range on most of the statistics – nothing too notable.

However, what is noteworthy is how much the minimum processing time varies from state to state. The minimum processing time is (in Washington at least) the minimum amount of time it can take from the day of filing, to the day the decree can be entered. As we’ve discussed previously, the minimum it can take in Washington is ninety days. Some people complain about this time period being too long. Perhaps they’d feel better if they compared our state’s processing time to that of Arkansas (540 days!) or Rhode Island (510 days!).

Five Reasons You Might Need a “Divorce Lawyer” Even if You Aren’t Getting Divorced

October 10, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

When I tell people that I am a family law attorney, they usually follow up the statement with a statement of their own: “You mean you’re a divorce lawyer?” And while I do help people through their divorces, there is much more to being a family law attorney. Before we get to what the much more is, I should say that I’m not offended by the term “divorce lawyer.” Divorce is often the most difficult experience a person goes through, and I’m honored to be able to help my clients through it. Here are just a few things (other than divorce) that a family law attorney does:

Prenuptial Agreements: These agreements are made in contemplation of marriage. They are usually used to give some reasonable expectation of how assets will be handled during marriage and/or if the marriage should ever dissolve.
Postnuptial Agreements: Similar to prenuptial agreements, but they occur after the marriage has been entered.

Points to Ponder When Considering Whether to go to Court to Enforce Provisions of Your Child Support Order

October 1, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

A friend approached me over the weekend with a question regarding whether she should use the court system to enforce her recently-entered order of child support. The order requires that daycare expenses be shared between the parties. However, when she went to her ex-husband to obtain his portion, he said he “already pays enough, and she should be able to cover the costs out of that.” His response directly contradicts the language of the order. That said, it wasn’t clear based on the information she provided whether it would be in her best interest to obtain a lawyer and start litigation. There are a few things I encouraged her to consider before rushing to litigate:

How much money does the other party owe you? Prior to engaging in litigation, a party(hopefully with the help of a qualified attorney) should do a cost versus benefit analysis. How much will it cost you to litigate this dispute? How much do you stand to gain? As attorneys, we sometimes have to advise our clients not to litigate even if we know their likelihood of winning is high, if the amount they stand to recover will be less than the resources expended in pursuing the case.
Can I have someone else pursue this on my behalf? The Division of Child Support (a division of DSHS) has the ability to assist families in need of child support services with establishment or enforcement of an order of child support. In many cases, family law attorneys encourage potential clients to seek remedies through DCS. It is important to remember that although your interests may coincide with that of DCS, DCS will not be your personal attorney.
Are there any non-pecuniary benefits of pursuing litigation? In some cases, it is worthwhile to pursue the misdoing of the opposing party to increase the likelihood that court orders are followed in the future. If you think letting something slide is likely to encourage the other parent to continually push limits and lose respect for you and the court orders, it might be worth it (as long as your attorney feels confident the court will not deem your action frivolous) to enforce the order to establish an understanding that failing to follow court orders will not be accepted.
Are you following the order? Be prepared that if you seek to have an order enforced against the other party, the court is likely to also enforce it against you. This means that if you are seeking to enforce the proportional share of daycare provision of the order, the court may look to see that you are complying with your obligations as well (e.g. that you provide receipts, share other costs or communicate such requests in writing).

Please contact us if you have questions regarding the enforcement of a child support order or other family law order.

Three Things to Consider When Serving Your Spouse with Divorce Documents

September 27, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

Many clients seeking a divorce (called dissolution in Washington) come into our office ready get things started. By the time they’ve come to us they’ve often already done the hard work of deciding that they are emotionally prepared to leave their spouse. They are anxious to get the legal process started, and want to know how they get their spouse served. Some are worried about how their spouse may react to service. Most think of movies they’ve seen where someone knocks on the (soon-to-be-former) spouse’s door and tells them: “You’ve been served.” The served spouse usually looks shocked, angry, sad, or a combination of all three. While for some family law clients these are the responses they desire, most want a more discreet approach. There are ways to initiate your dissolution process without undue embarrassment, surprise or anger:

Think about the kids. It is usually best to plan a time to serve your spouse when he or she will not have the children. (In fact, it is hard to imagine a time when it would be a good idea to serve your spouse in front of your children.) In addition to saving your spouse from the experience of being served in front of the children, you are also saving the children from the confusion and concern likely to occur as a result of seeing mom or dad served. Furthermore, it may please a decision-maker whom is made aware of extra steps being taken to protect the kids.
Consider who else might bear witness to service. Serving your spouse at work or in another public place is not likely to start things off in a friendly fashion. If you’re trying to preserve goodwill between spouses, consider having your spouse served at home at a time you know they will be alone. Also, serving your spouse at work may affect their employment. This is an important consideration as both parties’ ability to earn will be considered in your dissolution negotiations and/or litigation.
Consider asking the other party to join. If you and your spouse agree about what issues need to be resolved during the dissolution process, you might consider having him or her join in the petition. When the petitioner and respondent join in a petition it means that both parties are asking the court to resolve some issues (though you are free to negotiate and resolve things outside the courtroom). No one needs to be served because you both participate in filing the petition. In addition to saving your spouse from the emotional toll of being served, you can also save yourself money and time (You will not have to pay someone to serve your spouse, and the 90-day waiting period begins when the petition is filed.). There may be other ramifications to signing a joinder that should be discussed with your family law attorney.

We would be remiss not to point out that these modes of service only work in certain cases. Sometimes the element of surprise is part of a legal strategy that seeks to protect a party’s interests (safety, financial or otherwise). Sometimes, it is impossible to find a time for service that the spouse will not have an audience of either children or coworkers. As with all legal questions, this is one that should be discussed with a qualified family law attorney who understands your individual circumstances. Please contact us with your family law issues.

Why Results in Family Law Cases Can Differ So Much

September 20, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

A woman approached me at a social gathering recently to ask me to help her resolve her confusion regarding a family law issue. She said that she had two friends get divorced under similar circumstances, but obtain very different results. She wondered whether laws varied from county to county or courthouse to courthouse, and if that was the reason for the variation in results. Her confusion reminded me of the misperception I have heard from many family law clients who come in expecting that they can get the same result as a friend did because their “circumstances are so similar”, or that they can avoid the result a friend obtained because “their circumstances are totally different”. The reality is that no two families are similar enough to guarantee similar results.

Family law is mostly governed by state laws. There are some laws in family law that come from the federal level (ex. DOMA, IRS Code, PKPA), but for most of the laws that impact most families we look to the Revised Code of Washington, the Washington Administrative Code, and the case law from Washington’s appellate courts. There are court rules that vary from county to county, but these are mostly (if not entirely) procedural and should not (but may) affect the outcome of a case. In other words, whether your family law proceedings are handled in Spokane County, King County, Kitsap County or any other county in Washington shouldn’t make much of a difference. In reality, things do vary from county to county, courthouse to courthouse and decision-maker to decision-maker (commissioner or judge). Part of being a family law attorney (or rather any attorney that appears before a decision-maker on a regular basis) is knowing how the decision-maker(s) in your county is likely to rule on a particular issue. That way you are best able to advise your clients whether settlement or continued litigation is in their best interest.

But variations based on the decision-maker is not a complete answer to why there is so much variation in family law court decisions. It is more likely that the differences arise from one of two things. First, what may appear to be similar circumstances to someone looking at two families from the outside, may not be so similar when you take a closer look at the families’ finances, structure, and parenting histories. For example while two divorcing families’ may live in the same neighborhood and drive similar vehicles, their debt to income ratios and retirement savings may look entirely different. In other words, the similar families you see, may not be so similar upon further investigation.

How to Help Your Kids Deal With School and Family Transitions

September 15, 2013 | by Blair & Kim, PLLC

It’s hard to believe that September is more than half over. School supplies have been opened and used, new clothes worn and homework assigned. Families with school-age children are getting back into the routine of school five days a week. As has been previously discussed on this blog, children of divorced parents are often also adjusting to a different (school schedule) residential schedule. Some kids have been through this transition before. For some kids, this is the first time they are dealing with a new school year as part of a two-home family. The Huffington Post recently published an article entitled “How Our Schools Can Better Serve Children of Divorce.”

As previously suggested on this blog, and as suggested in the article, parents can do many things to make the transition back to school easier on children of divorce. The article suggests (and we agree) that parents should let the school know that the children are going through (or have recently been through) a divorce. Parents can ask teachers of elementary age children and (perhaps more appropriately) guidance counselors of middle school or high school students whether they are seeing any issues with the child that may be attributed to stress at home. If the adults at school are seeing issues, it may be time to consult with a counselor trained in dealing with children of divorce. Kids are at school for many hours each day. Teachers and other school staff can be a divorcing (or divorced) parent’s ally in helping kids adjust.

Transitioning from summer to school schedules, sun to rain, and free play to structure can be enough to deal with. If your child is also dealing with a new family structure, it might be good to give their well-being some extra thought and attention.